Reserch paper_1st draft and feedback

Why digital technology is so important? – Too broad, think of a better title.

Digital technology has been developed enormously past 10 years and it became well known techniques in architectural design. However, some people still argue that weather digital technology need or not to design. These people still like design in traditional way. Then why should we focus on this new technology? There are many reasons why we should keep an eye on this new technique. First, it could save money and time. Second, it enables new ways of thinking about the flow of control information and shaping of space. Third, it can make possible architect’s desire into reality. I would like to introduce following three architects(provide three names here.) who use this technology and how they communicate with others to realize their clients’ dreams.(needs, Q, so far, the content is clear, but the tone sounds a bit informal. Don’t use “I” which I found in the middle of your paper. Don’t make this FORMAL RESEARCH paper a personal essay.)
The new computer based approach placed a wing to architects. Many of architects have dreamed of constructing a building from a sketch they have in mind. However, it was not possible due to the lack of technology. Since the emergence of computer based approach, they are able to make their dreams come true. Also, they can give satisfaction to their clients who are willing to pay for something new. The Walt Disney Concert Hall designed by Frank Gehry is a landmark in downtown California. It was a successful project which allowed great satisfaction to Walt Disney Co. In this project, Gehry adopted CATIA (Computer-Aided Three-dimensional Interactive Application), a computer program originally developed in France by the Dassault Systems aviation company to design Mirage Jet Fighters. It gives the digitized information to software that could be used to draw, engineer, and construct the building. Thus, he was able to create the building in unique style what his client want.

Disney Concert Hall Designed by Frank Gehry Agbar Tower in Barcelona designed by Jean Nouvel
According to Jean Nouvel, we can save our time and effort using digital tool by improving efficiency. From my personal experience, I strongly agree with what he said. In every project, we receive tons of feedback and redo many other things. Until we have digital tools unavailable for architecture, we had to redraw all plans, sections, and perspectives which are related to the new decision. We can now modify the data easily and apply the changes very quickly using digital tools. (Q, can you get some specific data comparing the cost between traditional design vs. technology-based design? Then you can make your argument stronger. Otherwise, the current paragraph sounds general knowledge, that is, everybody knows it. So “What IS NEW? “thing!)
This (what is this?) new technique changed the traditional fixed form of space shape. Many of architects tried to create a space in new shape which they’ve never done before. But there was no available tool to make it. As computer soft ware develops, its ability to support architects improves. It also broadens the scope of their thinking. (Q: this is not clear.)
Ben Van Berkel started with abstract diagram to design. It starts with meaningless repetition of lines but it generates new architectural space at the end. Even though the diagram is not a blueprint, it contributes to represent the relationship between idea and form, between content and structure.
Consequently, it improves the efficiency and realizes human desire. A building cannot be constructed just by an architect him/herself. Traditional concept of building has been changed. Its function has changed and also it became a method of representing him/herself. Thus, for those of who want to appeal themselves tried to make something unique. This is the decisive role in developing and using digital technology . ( My suggestions:
Use your current conclusion as part of your introduction. In a conclusion, you need to provide a brief summary about what you have discussed. Then you will provide your own interpretations about what you have thought, what you have learned, or what you forecast something that will happen in the future.
Let ’ s think about a better organization of your paper. Can you organize it in order of the most significant to the least significant issue? Then your readers will get better ideas on your points.