Research paper_3rd draft and feedback

Benefits of Using Digital Techniques in Modern Architecture and Trend
Introduction
Digital technology has been developed during the last decade and it has become a numerous influence on the architecture field. Nowadays, the numbers of architects who use digital techniques are increasing. Then why should we focus on this new technology? (Can you revise this part by making it formal?) There are two reasons why we should keep an eye on this new technique. First, using digital technology, architects can be more productive and cost-effective. Second, digital technology enables architects to have new ways of thinking. There are three people who can give some examples through their works. They are Frank Gehry and Jean Nouvel who can show how they can decrease cost in their projects. The other person is Ben Van Berkel who can show the new way of thinking how architects develop their concept in progress. (Q: this introduction is not bad, but you can make it better by elaborating your ideas more. Think about transition from one to another idea. At the end of this paragraph, introduce how you will develop your ideas.)
More productive way (Change this subtitle+ APA style)
First of all,(Delete, sounds awkward, like a toefl essayL) architects could reduce the cost of the entire projects using digital technology. (Wow, slow down. Before providing examples, explain how technology reduce costs.)The great example is The Walt Disney Concert Hall designed by Frank Gehry. The Walt Disney Concert Hall is not only a landmark in downtown California but also a good example of computer based approach. It was a successful project which allowed great satisfaction to Walt Disney Co. In this project, Gehry adopted CATIA (Computer-Aided Three-dimensional Interactive Application), a computer program originally developed in France by the Dassault Systems aviation company to design Mirage Jet Fighters. It gives the digitized information to software that could be used to draw, engineer, and construct the building. Thus, he was able to create the building in unique style what his client want. (You need to use transitional expressions from here to the next paragraph. Don’t list all information you want to use. Think about a better connection.)
According to Jean Nouvel, we can save our time and effort using digital tool by improving efficiency. In every project, we receive tons of feedback and redo many other things. Until we have digital tools unavailable for architecture, we had to redraw all plans, sections, and perspectives which are related to the new decision. We can now modify the data easily and apply the changes very quickly using digital tools. (Don’t use first person pronouns in this research paper. You need to think who are ‘we’. I, as one of your readers, do not belong to ‘we’.)
New way of Thinking (Change this subtitle.)
Digital technology contributed to allow architects to get a broaden perspective in progress. Many of architects tried to create a space in new shape which they’ve never done before. But there was no available tool to make it. As computer software develops, its ability to support architects improves. Through Ben Van Berkel’s projects, we could learn how he used and applied the digital technology. Ben Van Berkel started with abstract diagram to design. It started with meaningless repetition of lines but it generated new architectural space at the end. Even though the diagram was not a blueprint, it contributed to represent the relationship between idea and form, between content and structure. (This is too short for a separate section of this paper.)
conclusion
Digital technology has improved efficiency and realized human desire. A building cannot be constructed just by an architect him/herself. Traditional concept of building has been changed. Its function has changed and also it became a method of representing him or herself. People use building to appeal themselves by making something unique. This is the decisive role in developing and using digital technology. The new computer based approach placed a wing to architects. Many of architects have dreamed of constructing a building from a sketch they have in mind. However, it was not possible due to the lack of technology. Digital technology can allows architecture to make a new shape of building that can give a satisfaction to clients. It also helps to better communicate with others to realize their clients’ dreams. Critical issues on this paper: You did not cite any sources except examples. Where did you get the ideas of this paper? Who said technology reduces costs and technology enables architects to have innovative ideas? Without citations, this paper is not a research paper, but an essay. Therefore it is not acceptable. Your ideas should be supported with proper sources. Check the other papers on the LMS.
Reference List
K.Michael H. (2003) , The singular object of architecture, 49
K.Michael H. (2003) , The singular object of architecture, 51
Peter T.and Devyn W. , Network Practices, 130