Research paper_6th draft and feedback

(Three?? I don’t know how many, but it would be a good idea to be specific.) Benefits of Using Digital Techniques in (designing??or any verbing ) Modern Architecture and Trend

Introduction
Digital technology has been developed during the last decades and architects have been applied computer technology as an assistive tool. However(awkward, check ‘transitional expressions on the Internet.) digital technology became decisive tool for drawing, creating diagram, modeling, performance simulation, construction management and building fabrication. Nowadays, the numbers of architects who use digital techniques are increasing.
Even though (Hey, Q! do you really want to start any sentence with these expressions? Too much using them is not helpful!) digital technology in architecture is nothing new, there are two reasons why we should keep focusing on this new technique. First, using digital technology, architects can be more productive and cost-effective. Second, digital technology enables architects to have new ways of thinking. There are two architects who accepted digital technologies in their works and built one of the most important and innovative buildings in contemporary architecture. They are (delete these) Frank Gehry and Ben Van Berkel. Frank Gehry’s work show how architect can improve efficiency in comparison with Antonio Gaudi. The other person is Ben Van Berkel who can show the new way of thinking such as how architects develop their concept in progress. (So, what will you do to develop this theme? Provide a guide to your paper.)(Q, you need to work on this introduction. I came back to this intro after I read the body parts of this paper and found why this paper is not clear. You mention two benefits from using technology and introduce two architects. But you start off discussing specific buildings. What are the main foci? The benefits or the two architects? What are you doing to connect these two themes? You need to make them closely interrelated. )
Benefit of Computer aided design in terms of Improved Efficiency (Keep working to have a better subtitle.)
Sagrada Family church by Anotonio Gaudi has similarity with Frank Gehry’s Walt Disney concert hall in a sense of amorphous surface shape. There was no digital technology to express his idea at that time and it was hard to make constructors to understand his design. The construction of this church was began in 1882 and last until he died in 1926. The project is still continuing based on Gaudi’s original plan and study. It has taken more than 100 years to finish this project due to the lack of information such as drawings, models and perspectives which can help other people to understand (Mary Ann Sullivan, 2001). (Q: What is the point? I am lost to follow the ideas in this paragraph. What is the thesis? Or Main idea? Try to write down that specific idea in the first or second sentence of this paragraph.)
In contrast to Gaudi’s Sagrade Family church, Frank Gehry adopted CATIA(Computer-Aided Three-dimensional Interactive Application) in Walt Disney Concert Hall project. . The Walt Disney Concert Hall is not only a landmark in downtown California but also a good example of computer based approach. CATIA (Computer-Aided Three-dimensional Interactive Application) is a computer program originally developed in France by the Dassault Systems aviation company to design Mirage Jet Fighters(Michael Webb,2003) (APA style). It gives the digitized information to software that can be used to draw, engineer, and construct the building. CATIA also helped constructors to assemble each different shaped panel in right place. It has shorten architect’s response time to the modification request of original design by clients using existing digitized data. (OK, Q, this would be one main discussion about the benefits from using technology. How about this if you divide your paper into two: in the first part, you will discuss the benefits first, and in the second part, you will use two examples.) The data was accessible to everyone in easy format to understand. By using CATIA, Gehry was able to create the building in unique style what Walt Disney Company want. Improving efficiency in architecture can be translated into how much architects can save their client’s money. In this sense, Walt Disney Concert Hall was a successful project.
According to Jean Nouvel in his interview with Jean Baudrillard (2003), There is anything easier than reusing existing data, given the fact that the computer can modify that data so quickly and the system is ready for a new building. In every project, architects receive many feedbacks. Before digital tool was widely used in architecture field, architects had to redraw all plans, sections, and perspectives based on the new decision. They can now modify the data easily and apply changes quickly using digital tools. (Q: as I mentioned earlier in this paper, you combined two different but similar perspectives in this paper, which gets me lost in following your paper. I suggest you to divide the body part into two, the benefits and the examples, or the architects..).

Benefit by Broadening range of Thinking
Digital technology contributed to allow architects to get a broaden perspective in progress. Many of architects tried to create a space in new shape which they’ve never done before. But there was no available tool to make it. As computer software develops, its ability to support architects improves. (sort of wordy, try to make these sentences compact.) Through Ben Van Berkel’s projects, we can learn how he used and applied the digital technology. Ben Van Berkel started with abstract diagram to design. It started with meaningless repetition of lines but it generated new architectural space at the end. Even though the diagram was not a blueprint, it contributed to represent the relationship between idea and form, between content and structure.
conclusion
Architects can reduce the cost and the time of the entire projects by using digital technology. For instance, digital information can be reused by connecting into computer controlled machinery to produce scale models and 3D model can help architects to demonstrate their design to clients. Digital technology allows architects to make a new shape of building which they have dreamed and also helps to better communicate between architects, clients and constructors. (Remember the handouts about writing conclusions. This conclusion looks like the monster in the handout….:( Revise this. In the first part, you will briefly summarize your paper and you also provide your own interpretations based on the research you have done.)

Reference List
K.Michael, H. (2003). Virtual architecture, real architecture.The singular object of architecture, pp 48-49
K.Michael, H. (2003). Computer modeling and architecture.The singular object of architecture, p51
Michael, W. (2003). A Barge with Billowing Sails: Symphony. Frank Gehry’s Walt Disney Concert Hall, p122
Peter, T. & Devyn, W.(2007). W. Conclusion : Materialist Agential Combinatorics. Network Practices, p130
J. Maria, C. (1997). El Temple de la Sagrada Familia. Sant LLuís: Triangle Postals S. L., http://www.bluffton.edu/~sullivanm/spain/barcelona/sagrada/sagrada.html